More Myths about Adoption and Angelina Jolie
Just read a Telegraph article linked in blogging baby, which was filled with all kinds of ridiculous speculation about the problems Angelina Jolie's kids might face now that she has a bio daughter.
What really amused me was how these experts claim it's unusual to have a bio child first, then adopt. They suggested that people normally have bio children after adopting because they've more "relaxed."
Where do I start?
1. The assumption is that the only reason people adopt is because they can't "have their own." Are they oblivious to the parade of celebs--Mia Farrow, Stephen Spielberg, Michelle Pfeiffer,etc--who have adopted after having many bio kids? As long as we're trafficking in generalizations and anecdotes: Virtually every writer I know who has bio/adopted kids adopted after having bio kids.
2. The idea that adoption is just a last resort for the desperately infertile is so dated. I wrote a magazine article about how more families had bio and adopted kids, and I found the reasons people adopt are myriad.
3. Ask any infertile person to list irritating comments he/she heard, and I'm sure on the top would be, "Just relax, and you'll get pregnant." First, it's sort of blaming the victim (if you weren't so uptight, you'd have a baby.) Second, it just not true. Yes, some people who suffered from infertility have gotten pregnant after adopting, but they are very notable because of their rarity.
4. The notion that bio and adopted sibilings have less harmonious or loving relationships just isn't borne out by research.
Or by what many of us in "blended families" see in our own lives.
Stumble It!
posted by pam at 2:18 PM
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