The Pressure to Volunteer
"I'm working," I said, knowing that I sounded defensive. "I really just don't have any time."
It was and is true. Like so many working mothers, I have lists for my lists; trying to keep up with my work AND not drop the ball on my kids' lives is a daily challenge for me.
Yet, the truth is, even if I did have MORE time, I probably would not spend it typing up the course offerings in legos, yoga, and basketball and calling the parents to notify them when classes were cancelled.
And why should parent involvement be necessary, anyway? Why is it that schools today--especially schools in middle and upper middle class districts--require so many parent volunteers? When I was growing up, my mother--who was a full-time homemaker--was not expected to shelve books in the library or serve pizza on Fridays, let alone administer any school programs. In fact, I don't recall ever seeing her, or really any of my parents' friends in the schools, except in the audience for the once-a-year class play or as a chaperone for the occasional class trip.
So what's changed? Is it that we, middle and upper middle class parents, feel compelled to offer all of these extras that simply weren't deemed necessary 30 years ago? Simply a case of raised expectations in an affluent, and increasingly competitive, culture?
Probably, but I can't help but think there is something else at work too, that as more mothers are in the workforce, our definition of what kids "need" has been ratcheted up. I'm not just blaming reactionary forces (ie: your not a "good mother" unless you constantly provide for your kids), though I think that's a factor too. It could be that as working mothers, we try to alleviate our guilt and prove ourselves worthy by taking personal days or curtailing our careers so that we can serve pizza on Fridays.
By the way, I came up with a solution that I thought was a very good one for this after school program. Why not, I suggested, just charge $10 more per class and use that money to hire a someone to run the program?
But when I suggested this to the mom, she was dismissive. Enrollment would go down, she said, and besides, she thought that would be hard to trust someone who wasn't a mom in the school district. But wouldn't there be at least a few at-home moms who would be thrilled to make an extra $1000 to run a program at their kids' school?
Stumble It!
posted by pam at 8:52 AM
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