At Home with Two Children
This past weekend, we picked up my 10-year-old daughter, Emily, from sleep away camp, and once again we were a family of 4. I'd written in an earlier post about how I'd noticed that my younger daughter, Annie, behaved quite differently--more gregarious, more fun-loving-- when her big sister was away.
Now that Emily is home, I see she has moved a little back into her sister's shadow. I don't want to overstate the differences. Annie is hardly a wall flower around her sister, and as the younger child, she gets plenty of attention . But I know that Emily more often takes center stage just by virtue of the fact that she is older and speaks more eloquently (Annie is only five years old). We have lots of extended conversations with her. With Annie, not as much, at least not when her sister is around.
During a car ride this morning, Emily was chatting away about her camp experience, and my husband and I were asking lots of questions. When I realized that Annie was just sitting quietly in the backseat, I tried to turn the conversation to her and began asking her to tell us about her camp. She clammed up.
I know that I acted (and still behave) a little differently around my siblings, and it was hardly a tragedy. And I don't want to be overly dramatic here--she is only five years old and probably will grow into the person she is, regardless of her sister. But I don't want her to feel she is pigeonholed in the family or that she can't be the person she wants to be at home. So, I'm working on sorting through this dynamic I see.
Which means every once in a while saying, "Emily, be quiet. Let your sister talk!"
Stumble It!
posted by pam at 9:27 PM
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