Mommy Wars: Media Fiction or Not?
All I can say is, She must never have visited my town.
And forgive me for thinking this, but she can't be a mom.
Yes, the notion that working mothers and at-home mothers are at "war" is silly, retrograde, and unproductive, but it also happens to hit at a truth. There isn't a full scale war going on between those who work and those who are at home, but there are these skirmishes, fueled by resentments and judgments, about who is doing it right. And that involves everyone--mothers who work part time or full time, as well as those who are at home moms.
Example: My friend, who works full time from home, was complaining about a school employee's treatment of her son, when another mom, who works (from home, part-time), said, "Well, perhaps if you were around more and got to know the teacher better you'd have a better handle on the situation." Ouch.
I hear (and witness) these kinds of interactions at least a couple times a month, and I'm probably a culprit more than I want to admit. Yet, if Graff interviewed many of these women, I'm sure they'd spout some PC cliches about how we all just want the best for our children.
That isn't to say Graff isn't right in suggesting that the media stokes the fires, in part, because it wants to sell. But arguing the other side--that there is no Mommy War--also helps stoke the fires too, if only by continuing the pointless debate.
Because let's get real: It's probably more productive to talk about what's really underneath all of this back-biting. What is causing this insecurity, this nagging sense that no matter what we do as mothers, we're doing something not quite right enough? Maybe if the conversation began there, we'd really find ourselves to a solution.
Stumble It!
posted by pam at 9:33 AM
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