At a mother-daughter book group last night, I checked with my middle schooler and my friends' daughters: None of them had heard or seen any "list."

In the meantime, a friend sent me a link to a story that ran about the Millburn hazing in a publication in India! When will the media frenzy stop? My guess is that this story will continue to have "legs" until the town has put into effect a new policy and approach toward hazing.

UPDATE: Link to story in India.

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The Millburn Middle School just emailed parents, notifying them that officials have heard "a list" exists on some kids' Facebook sites.
 
Is this a new "slut list"? Or some other kind of list? Unknown. But the school is urging parents to do their job and investigate what their kids are doing online.

An excerpt here:

We have learned from parents that a Middle School “list” exists on a Facebook account.  The details I have are sparse, but I share this information with the Middle School community to enable you to do your job as parents.
Schools can not police internet activity, but parents can.  The amount of publicity surrounding the topic of hazing at the high school may have  provided our middle level students with the “temptation for imitation.”
Parents have often heard Middle School personnel talk about how preadolescents are still children who look, and sometimes act, like adults.  The do not fully understand the ramifications of their actions, so they require structure, guidance, and oversight.

I'm sure some local reporters may jump on this email to further a sensational--and inaccurate-- story line that the Millburn middle school kids are now being hazed, just as the high school students were.

Not so.

The Millburn Middle School is concerned about stopping any copy cat activity, as any school would be. (I remember a couple years ago, Columbia High School in Maplewood had a spate of bomb threats--as publicity led to one, then another,  and another.)

But if reporters want to write an accurate story, they should be focusing on the fact that the Millburn Middle School is being vigilant and jumping on the smallest sign of poor behavior, so that it doesn't escalate into something further. The administration is communicating with the parents and making them partners in their effort to create a community free of harassment---something that I would argue the high school should have done years ago.

As a parent of an eighth grader, I always have had respect for the principal, Michael Cahill, and his leadership. His handling of this issue increased it exponentially.

One caveat: The administration reiterates its long held belief that middle schoolers shouldn't have Facebook accounts. I've heard them suggest this before, and it's about as realistic as suggesting that teens shouldn't have cell phones. The answer is to do what their email suggests: Monitor what your kids are doing.

And that goes for parents in towns everywhere.

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Previously, I wrote an appeal to local bloggers/media/residents to not fuel the media frenzy and spoke about how I'd hung up on producers from two tabloid, TV shows, seeking interviews.

Today, I see that the Patch blogger,  who was the first to publish the infamous "slut list," published a note, stating that she has not given other reporters the slut list. It was actually kind of a sad note: clearly, she has gotten grief from residents and local officials for having been the first to get that scoop.

Let me be clear: She is doing her job. Any local reporter covering this story would want to get their hands on that list. And I also think it is a good thing that parents and Board of Ed members in this town know exactly how graphic and degrading this list was--hopefully, it will quell the nonsensical thinking that this is just a "harmless" prank. In fact, I spoke to one Board member who clearly was shocked after reading the slut list and, as a result, is now determined to make change come.

However, I think all of the parents, students and public officials who are airing their grievances through unnamed interviews are accomplishing absolutely nothing except degrading the girls and further demeaning the community.

Now is the time for you to make your voices heard to the people who have the power to change the status quo --that can do some good.

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